By Ritika Khattar
“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard but must be felt with the heart.” –Helen Keller
Love is complicated, love is beautiful, love is happiness, love is desperation, love is complex.
A mix of heart-felt emotions, vehemence, deportment and beliefs associated with strong feelings of affection, protectiveness, warmth, and respect for one another is what we call love. It is not always romance, allure and lovey-dovey. Love can mean many things and can vary from one individual to another. Our first ever experience of love is at birth. The bonding we have with our parents is the purest form of love. They love us from the very moment we are born. They look after us, sacrificing and relinquishing all that they have and assist us in improving and ameliorating ourselves. We will always be a kid to our parents, no matter how old we grow and hence, we’ll always need their warmth and love but as we grow, we become maverick as well as individualistic and don’t need them as much as we did. Even though their love for us is incessant, unconditional and never-ending, moving on with our lives independently makes them feel isolated.
You ought to take care of your parents when they grow old because there’s nothing as selfless, unconditional and forgiving as their love in this whole universe.
We can quarrel and brawl with our siblings all day long but the love between us is the strongest. Despite the dissension, they will always keep us safe. Though, they never express their love but we know that they do love us. Even, our grandparents want to fill our lives with endearment and merriment and that’s something they never ever fail to do. Friendships have the essence of love too. Though, it may not be romantic but our friends still care for us, love us and make us truly happy. Friendships depending on popularity or money never last long. Basically, a friend is someone you can truly count on, that is love. Love is the base of romantic relationships, two partners who genuinely love and care for each other. They’ve absolute certitude and trust in each other and try to work out their differences when they fight!
Sometimes, our relationships may not work out. So, rather than feeling unfortunate, unfavourable or regretful, we must cherish the moments we had and move on. Also, sometimes, someone’s absence makes us a better person. Cherish that absence and never spread hate onto someone. Life goes on my dear! So, accept it and move on. LOVING YOURSELF IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. We should accept ourselves the way we are. There will always be people better than you, smarter than you, taller than you, prettier than you but no one, absolutely NO ONE IS LIKE YOU. You’re unique and special. No one is like you and that’s your super power. Once we accept ourselves, we can truly love.
Now, I want y’all to refer to the story of the Netflix original movie “When we first met” directed by Ari Sandel.
Noah Ashby falls head over heels for Avery Martin after meeting her at the Halloween Party in 2014 but Avery friend-zones him. Noah remains devastated and shattered for being unable to win Avery’s heart who was engaged to Ethan, 3 years down the line. Noah soon discovers that he is able to travel through time. So, he went back to the day he met her and resolved to change the events of the day to ensure that he ends up with his dream girl. He uses his pre-existing knowledge of her to his advantage in his first attempt to win her heart, but Avery and her roommate Carrie Grey follow his friend Max’s advice of being a rude alpha male and suspect him of being a stalker. For his second attempt, Noah successfully ends up in bed with Avery, but he develops a self-absorbed personality and his relationship with Avery is purely sexual. She still didn’t fall for him genuinely. Recognizing that Avery and Ethan are still attracted to each other, a conversation with Carrie helps Noah deduce that Avery is attracted to stable, strong, steady and dependable men. Noah gets a job at Max’s company and presents himself in a more mature manner to Avery for his third attempt, which results in him successfully being engaged to her but now his job commitments prevent him from spending time with her. Following another conversation with Carrie, Noah recognizes that Avery does not love him and she is meant to be with Ethan and he himself is not the one for her but her humble best friend Carrie who has always been there for supporting him and giving him a shoulder to cry on. Traveling back to 2014 for the fourth time, Noah arranges for Avery and Ethan to meet at the Halloween party just how the things were meant to be while he finally pursues Carrie, the one who’s been here the whole time.
We all can learn a lot from Noah’s mistakes:
- Everything happens for a reason: Just in case, Noah would’ve been successful in changing Avery’s feelings, he would never ever realise what sort of a gem he would lose by snubbing Carrie who has been down for him since day1. Every small thing that happens leads to a bigger outcome; EVERY CHOICE MATTERS. The preferences you make every day lead you to a certain outcome, a certain destiny. Trust the process and know that, one day, it will all end up the way it is meant to be, naturally. I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can be put together in place.
- Sometimes what you’re looking for is right in front of you: If only Noah would’ve accepted the fact that he’s just a mere friend to Avery and nothing more and tried to move on wisely, he would’ve easily realised that he belonged with Carrie. A lot of the time, we have these CRAZY expectations of what love looks like, and we spend our lives chasing down “what it could be”. The story you tell your kids when they ask “how did you two meet” doesn’t have to be a Hollywood movie- so stop looking for a movie-script romance and accept the love that comes to you naturally: the magic is hidden in what is REAL.
“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which are open for us.” — Alexander Graham Bell, Scientist
- You can never force someone to love you: You can never make someone fall in love with you, just because you love them immensely. If you are changing who you are, what you look like, what you talk about, your interests: STOP. If you don’t have a connection, the materialistic things you are trying to alter literally don’t matter at all. No matter what you do-who you pretend to be–you will not be able to force someone to fall in love with you. It just doesn’t happen like that. Unnatural love is UNNATURAL, yeah, right in the name: it will end, and it will be a waste of time. Stop trying to fit in where you don’t belong. Love is something that finds us, we don’t have to find it or chase it at all.
- Be thankful for what you’ve got: The most precious relationships in life are the ones that just, happen. If you find someone who you can effortlessly spend time with, whether it be laughing obnoxiously, talking for hours or sitting in silence, that’s a relationship worth investing in. There is someone who you already have in your life, or someone out there who you will meet, that will absolutely adore you just the way you are; your weird quirks, your humor, your smile, your beauty. Be patient, be thankful, and appreciate the ones you find like this.
Basically, all that I want to carry out through these words is when you’ve a connection with someone, you can’t stop it. Also, sometimes even the wrong train brings you to the right destination. Just be patient and never lose hope. Eventually, you’ll end up exactly where you need to be, who you’re meant to be with and doing what you should be doing. So, stop looking for love in every Avery because you’ll eventually find your Carrie who belongs with you from the very beginning and is meant for you only!