Wallflower

“So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me for I, too, am fluent in silence” –
R Arnold

Introvert…we sure are very well aware of this word. You can be either one of them or consider
some other people as of this category. Introversion is one of the major personality traits
identified in many theories of personality. Introverted people tend to be shy or focused more on
internal thoughts, feelings, and moods rather than seeking out external stimulation.
Psychological studies say in terms of their brain chemistry, introverts have a lower threshold of
dopamine sensitivity than extroverts (dopamine is the feel-good hormone); the lower your
dopamine threshold is, the more easily stimulated you are. Introverts have different brain
chemistry; the pathway that an introvert’s brain takes in social context differs from that of
extroverts. Introverts have a more extended pathway called the Long Acetylcholine Pathway. It’s
much longer, which means that a stimulus goes through many different parts of the brain.
Introverts notice all sorts of details, which makes them self-conscious about the mistakes they
are making. Introverts worry a lot about what’s going to happen. Basically, for an introvert, an
event is never just an event. While extroverts can immediately respond and react to what is
happening around the milieu, introverts cannot because so much goes on in their head.
A lot of us presume that introverts don’t really like spending time with other people. Introverts
often seem boring and even rude to some people, but that is not so. In fact, they can have some
of the most profound and most meaningful friendships. Some people think introverts avoid
social situations. This isn’t actually true; they just need more time to recharge after a lot of social
stimulation. It’s because they have a very low threshold for dopamine, so they are easily
overwhelmed. In contrast, extroverts have a very high threshold, so they can keep going for
longer.
Being an introvert myself, I can agree with all of this. I tend to get a little awkward at social
gatherings at first. Still, eventually, I do manage to get myself accustomed to the group.
Introverts like me do get this a lot that we are not that fun, especially for extroverted people; we
are not bold to do things, don’t make impulsive decisions, and are somewhat boring.
I always used to feel bad about it, about being so shy and introverted, not like somebody ever
said on my face that I am boring. Still, you get this feeling when you hang out with a bunch of
extroverts who are having way too much fun, are living in the moment without worrying about
the consequences. There you are, thinking when will I get home so that I could curl up in bed
and just either binge-watch stuff or be myself while listening to slow indie songs.
But now that I think about it, I realize how stupid it was of me to feel bad about being nothing but
myself. There is nothing wrong is not being impulsive, there is nothing wrong in taking your time
in getting accustomed with people in order to have fun, there is nothing wrong in thinking a little
before speaking, there is nothing wrong in being observant, there is nothing wrong in being an
introvert, there is nothing in being YOU.
Being an introvert is not a flaw. It does not matter if some people find you boring; embracing
yourself the way you are is all that matters. Because if some people don’t appreciate you the
way you are, there are still a hell lot of people who will never make you feel bad about yourself
and will appreciate you the way you are. Every step of the way.
It’s okay to be a wallflower. Some people still would appreciate you. Always.