“When you initially forgive, it is like letting go of a hot iron. There is initial pain and the scars will show, but you can start living again.” ― Stephen Richards
We all are very well aware with the fact that forgiving someone is the greatest of all things one person can do in their life. It sets us free from the pessimism, bitterness, anger and the sadness, some traits that disrupt our physical as well as mental health and hold us back from all kind of good mighty things that we may achieve and experience.
A lot of us have worked on forgiving others, forgiving those who have actually torn us apart, made us vulnerable and sad. But we all came to terms with it by being the bigger one and forgiving the other person. But why can’t we all be a bigger person for our own selves? What about forgiving ourselves?
In today’s society suffering in silence is one of the major trademark of the adolescents. The teenagers have started engaging themselves in things like drugs. Smoking pot is the newest of all trends, with the tag that ‘we do so because it is the best stress buster’ but don’t actually believe in sharing what bothers us. When we were of the age of about 5 or 6 we all use to cry over things such as tripping or falling or at the mere sight of blood. We use to express our pain. But by the time we come to the youth age suffering in silence seems like a plausible thing to do. We start blaming ourselves for things turning out the wrong way, thinking it’s our fault. Teenagers are in an awkward phase of self discovery. Where we don’t know that whether we should act like a child or an adult. But bottling up our emotions and suffering in silence is erroneous.
Alaska Young, is one of the main character of the novel by John Greens called Looking for Alaska. Alaska has this bipolar type of personality, she is funny, charming, and mysterious in her very own way. She at times can be rude and mean but is also very smart. Pudge the narrator of this novel and a friend of Alaska one day asks her why do you smoke so fast? She replies, ‘Y’all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die’ strengthening the point that she is a teenager with issues. ‘how will I ever get out of this labyrinth’ is Alaska’s favourite last words by Simon Bolivar. For her, the labyrinth is that of the sufferings.
Alaska has been tormented since her mother died when Alaska was little. “She had fallen over. She was lying on the floor, holding her head and jerking. And I freaked out. I should have called 911, but I just started screaming and crying until she finally stopped jerking” are the wordings of Alaska. She somehow blames her own self for her mother’s tragic death. Despite having a hard past Alaska is a very happy and energetic girl or maybe that’s how she wanted others to see her. Throughout the novel there has been a lot of changes in her personality. From being a confident and strong girl to being a gloomy and depressive one her personality has been evolved. Forgetting about her mothers’ death was an unfeasible thing. She cannot stand the guilt and gradually started becoming a cold person. Later we see that, Alaska dies in the story and that’s when the mystery comes because she left everything to be continued.
Alaska always thought of life as a labyrinth of suffering, she always wanted to know what is the way out of this suffering, maybe dying was her way of getting out of this labyrinth. It is a mystery that whether her death was an accident or a suicide. But tell me, was her mother’s death in any sense her fault? Did she deserve to suffer in silence like that? I think not. Alaska had to forgive herself for what happened to her mother and stop getting all the guilt of something that she did not do.
You see blaming ourselves for something that we did not do can hamper one’s mental health to such an extent that they think suffering in silence, being a cold person, smoking to die is a ‘just’ thing to do. But it is not.
Adolescent is the time period where we may feel pathetic, sad and empty. But to not feel so, we should always ‘Seek for the great Perhaps’. We should look for the purpose of our life in order to not feel empty. So smile, laugh, forgive and believe in self worth.
At some point we all look up and realise we are lost in a maze and it’s okay to feel so, sometimes. But remember,
“The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive”