“No does not mean ‘convince me.’ ” Love finds you at some point in life. For most of us, it holds a varied definition. Love indeed includes being comfortable with your partner and understanding their needs. Both these factors are essential in any relationship. These two factors also play a significant role when it comes to the intensity of intimacy with one’s partner. For a long time now, we have believed one partner to be dominant and the other submissive. However, getting intimate with one’s partner requires the consent of both parties involved. It must be free from external influence, failure of which can have a lasting consequence on others.
Apart from the grave issues in a relationship like domestic abuse, there is another issue least discussed. Intimidating sex can have an adverse impact on the relationship as well as the person who is going through it. First off, it is necessary to understand that consent is imperative for sexual intercourse. It is not about one partner who is in need to fulfill their sexual desires. If the other person is not ready, you cannot force yourself on them or burden them with other reasons like “Are you falling out of love?” or “Can you trust me once?” Sexual intercourse has an impact on a person’s body and mind. And pushing them to an extent where they have to choose between your desires and themselves can damage the relationship. This is because that person is doing something contradictory to their readiness, and it will only lead to the relationship turning one-sided and toxic.
Saying this, having intimidating sex can develop fear amongst the partner who is yet ready to go through this stage. It would then become a fearful task to get closer to you. This will lead the person to withdraw from you, be it physically, emotionally, or mentally. This will also result in your partner developing Genophobia, that is, fear of sex and intimacy. This can also result in your partner slipping into depression or having anxious thoughts about getting closer to you.
Intimidating intimacy affects relationships in many ways. It can ultimately result in you drawing a line, not just from your partner but also from the other life activities. Here are the adverse impacts of being involved in an intimidating sexual relationship.
- Emotional Heaviness:
Being in an intimidating sexual relationship will only heap up emotional complications. The partner who is growing through it will feel insecure about sharing their feelings, be it about the extent they want to be intimate or emotions on any other feelings. There is also a genuine fear of opening up to your partner that can imbue one’s mind with feelings of doubt and shame.
- Silent Aggression Development:
Being involved in a terrifying sexual relationship can be a scarring experience for the inexperienced partner. This is to understand that the person is doing something against their will, resulting in them turning silently aggressive. This will result in the person either has a major outburst at the pinnacle or suffering from anxiety, high blood pressure, or frequent migraines. Again, this is because the person has no proper disposal of how they feel about intimacy and does not want to continue against what they are asked to be involved in.
- Social Isolation:
A partner who is indulged in an intimate relationship that is coerced will eventually start feeling isolated. This isolation will first begin from withdrawing from the partner and then from the people around them. The partner might also think that if they share with the other people, it might lead to a rupture in the relationship with their partners. Isolation will push the partner to have heaps of unreleased thoughts, leading to serious mental issues.
- Depleting Physical Health:
While this is something that might be least accepted as a reason, involving your partner in an intimidating sexual activity will result in poor physical health. The person might experience fatigue. Continuous involvement of the partner who is not ready for intimacy might also lead them to develop internal disorders, which generally are disregarded. For instance, giving birth to children with no proper gaps will lead her body to drain out of energy, develop infections, miscarriage, and many other mental and physical health issues.
- Guilt and Worthlessness:
Asking your partner for intercourse when they are not ready will make them feel guilty and worthless for turning it down. It will be overwhelming to convince them rather than understand them and give them time. If you continuously ask your person to carry forward a sexual activity with you and are reluctant, your reaction can make them feel guilty. They might think that they are not worthy enough for you, pushing them into self-loathing.
While these are just a few consequences of intimidating sex in a relationship, the actual nature of an issue this sensitive is far more complex. Even if the person comes out of that toxic relationship, they will have difficulty moving on. The insecurities will lurk around them, and every time they get close to a person, the fear of being disregarded will haunt them.
When it comes to being involved in a sexual relationship, there must be clear consent from both sides. Legally, an intimidating sexual relationship is liable to be penalized under the hands of the law. It is termed to be sexual assault, marital rape and has severe reputations to it. “A no means no “, and both the partners must understand this. A healthy relationship consists of understanding and respecting each other’s opinions and decisions. As said by an anonymous person, “To have someone understand your mind is a different kind of intimacy.” But apart from being a different kind of intimacy, understanding each other is the first intimacy between two people.