Here are some ways to focus on finding solutions to your problems, rather than exhausting yourself on ‘why me?
When in trouble, facing challenges, or going through difficult situations, it’s sometimes really tough to look for solutions to overcome them. Especially when it’s not been your day, your week, your month or even your year! Days when it’s extremely gloomy, and you want to get out but don’t know how? So we then start questioning ourselves and begin asking ‘why me?’ and even this tiny question has so much weight that we find it hard to find our strength to face it. Most of our anger, frustration, and discomfort come because of focusing on our problems.
When you have a bad day, you are facing difficulties like speed bumps. At this point, it is very easy to get caught up and feel down. We want someone to comfort us but don’t know how to ask for help. We want to run into our Mum’s arms but don’t know how to. We often end up staring at the television, laptop and hope or pray that a solution comes to us or that the problem goes away. It rarely does. So, we sulk, we wait, we continue to delve into the challenge so much that only after a while do we feel like we’re enough! Now it’s my time. Even at this time, we might find solutions, as if finding spices in an Indian house. Or we might just push the issue at the back of our heads, which isn’t even a bit healthy.
When we face adversity, we focus on the negative, and from there, we start to focus on all our life problems. Through it all, it’s essential to remember never to lose sight of the truth that downfalls, challenges, etc., come into our lives only to help us and not hurt us. In order to turn difficulties into life lessons and only grow from them, instead of just feeling all over the place and ending up with no solution, you must start focusing on ways to actually resolve your situations.
The people and companies who have overcome tremendous setbacks and have truly grown as a result are the ones that focus on solutions, not problems. Failure is never the ultimate end result unless you make it so. Look at Edison. He used every single one of his experiences to get one step closer to where he was trying to go all along. When encountering setbacks or failures, we must apply the same mentality in our own lives, businesses, or companies.
● Focus on the solution
Taking time off to entirely analyze in solitude the challenge in front of you while focusing on solutions instead of problems can revitalize your mind. It can help you focus on where you are headed, how you feel, and the most important – how you view failure from your experiences. Solutions are innately positive; it gives you back the control of your life and enables you to solve problems. As you seek solutions and opportunities in any situation, problems will disappear bit by bit, and you will start to feel better and happier. Here are a few steps you can use to turn your mindset around when facing a difficulty:
1. Acknowledge and accept the situation
First things first, breathe and try and relax. Before starting all the thinking, it is essential to acknowledge the obstacle. Tell yourself you are responsible, get yourself into the situation, and be accountable for your response towards the problem. This will help you calm down. Of course, it is easier said than done because it is easier to get mad about the situation. But that will only tire you out instead of help you.
2. Avoid problem-focused thinking
The first step to approach situations with solution thinking is to avoid questions that focus on the issue or the problem itself. You need to make yourself understand that the question ‘why’ will only waste your time. Instead, you can easily use this time to invest in solving the situation you are in or find solutions to the challenge you are facing.
3. Visualize your outcome
Often, it is our human nature to get angry and frustrated at a situation we don’t want to happen. And we hope for it to disappear like smoke, without actually knowing or thinking about what we want to happen. So, in your next step, close your eyes and start visualizing what you want to happen. Doing this will help you not be angry in whatever you do or be sad for hours. Visualizing what you want to happen or making it your motive will help you figure out what exactly you are striving for.
4. Find the solution
When you think about solution-focused thinking, you need to ask yourself various questions to find ways to solve your problem. Questions like:
● How can I address this problem?
● What is the first step I take in solving the problem?
● What issues could arise from this problem that I should be prepared for?
5.Start trying to make the solutions better
Once you know what you want your outcome to be, start focusing on improving these solutions. Solutions, once found, can also be improved upon, altered according to the problem in front of you. Having better solutions could help you rid yourself of any more possible situations or challenges to arise. By following these few steps, you can neutralize the negative feelings and work on solutions to problems that could make you sad or angry.
● Action Exercise
Try to focus your energy on becoming a solution-oriented person. Decide to face every situation with a positive attitude, and that it is a chance to learn, improve, and use to further your success. You will see your life change before you with just these couple of steps. You will become a more positive person and have a lot more energy to pursue your goals.
No matter how serious your challenge may be, the solution is out there if you think long and hard enough. Not every solution can be found in this manner. However, by thinking about multiple ways to overcome your problems, you can grow from the situation at hand and be better prepared for the next problem that may come your way. Rather than dwelling on the problem at hand for too long, focus on other intricacies. When we focus on solutions, we will get more answers. By being aware and reminding yourself of the list of resolutions you just created, you can stay away from problems.