(I wrote this piece earlier this year at the beginning of spring when you’re supposed to be dancing with the summery delights but instead all I had was a dizzy head full of false hopes and broken dreams. Just like the entire world. )
Spring is here. The bright sun rays reach deeper into my room and stay longer, causing dust particles to twinkle. The bare trees outside my window are dressing up for the summer fiesta. The tiny seedlings are waking up from hibernation. The blooms seem eager to bathe in their bright hues. So I went for a walk in the park last evening to take a breath of fresh air.
I started off on the familiar lane and started to smile at the vibrancy around me. Ting! My brain buzzed with a loud sound. TING! TING! TING!…. I could not ignore it any longer. I could not fathom the urgency to which my thoughts were pulling me into. The bright daffodils and deep crimson tulips were still in sight when in a moment of flash (Déjà vu) I felt numbness creep through my feet.
Déjà vu! Or perhaps Déjà woe. It came to me slowly what my woe was about. I had experienced the same feelings invoked by the onset of spring a year ago too. The familiar lane and familiar flowers suddenly seemed to bother me. My mind brought back the memories of last year when the lockdown had started, and the world was shutting down slowly. I took the same lane through the park each day of last spring to break the unwelcome isolation. Did any of us imagine that this situation would stay for longer than a few months?
My head started to hurt so much when I recalled all the unfulfilled plans that I made last year while strolling through the park. It felt like the future was laughing at me and thinking, oh what a fool this human this. And yesterday it felt like I was walking on my broken dreams. It hurt so bad! There are infinite Déjà woes that we as humans are having collectively at this very moment.
The silver lining for me is that I’m standing on my feet unscathed by the illness, but my heart has sores. It goes out to fellow humans who cannot make sense of why them? ..But stay put, dear friends, the spring is coming, and the sun rays will reach deep in our hearts through the broken cracks.