When an infant is born, the elders say that his chakras are definite. People believe that a person’s core nature is certain by birth. It is difficult or nearly impossible to alter with that soul personality. Astrology, philosophy, and science deal with this topic differently and the conclusions, too, differ. But, if we look upon this closely, a significant portion of the subject goes unnoticed. Needless to mention that astrology has a considerable impact on the world, even in today’s era, where science has progressed and evolved so much. It strongly affirms that a person’s life is affected by the movements and positions of the stars and planets, so it can’t be changed; it is pre-decided. But is it unquestionable?
From the point of view of philosophy, the matter is debatable. Some people may believe that it is undoubtedly possible to change one’s nature, while others may completely oppose it. If we align our focus in this direction, we shall find that astrology and philosophy; both are based on our ‘beliefs’, but what is science? Do we have to believe in science? No! It has its own proof. Science is nothing but the observation of reality as it is. Agreed? So, suppose we inculcate a scientific sense to the theme. In that case, we get on to a simple result that the scientific approach can answer us, whether or not we could change our nature. But before we start discussing that, what is the need to change our personality? What is the point of such an analysis? The answer is obvious! In the world of manipulation, cruelty, poor mental health and heartbreaks; one doesn’t feel good about life; even worse, people think of suicide. In such a situation, it is vital to change the perspective towards life and the way of living; and this can never happen if one is stuck in his same old school of thoughts and beliefs. Hence, one must work upon himself to change their nature to ultimately lead to the change in his pursuits and perspective about life. More often than not, people tend to believe in astrological or philosophical theories as a way out to spirituality because ‘beliefs’ in the short run are really appealing and comforting. But is it true? Views may differ. But, both of them target ‘faith’, and that is something abstract.
For instance, ‘positive thinking’ is emphasized a lot these days. But, do think upon the question that, can positive thinking be termed as the right way of thinking? Take a vague example as basic as this if you are supposed to crack an exam. Still, you don’t study as much as you should. Still, you are thinking positive, like ‘at least I am not doing nothing’ or ‘the exam would be easy’ or ‘most of the questions will come from the topics that I know perfectly’ ; is that going to help? In my opinion, abstract theories make us have faith in such a thought process; as obvious as it seems, these statements are pleasing to the mind, and hence, people are drawn into this direction. It weakens people’s capabilities to think logically. Although it’s not that I fully degrade philosophy, it is good enough at places it has to be. For example, philosophy can teach us the aspects of feelings like empathy, kindness, benevolence, love, compassion, friendship and spirituality up to a certain extent.
1.) What should be the ideal nature of a person?
Someone who is emotionally intelligent, strong and stable can be considered as someone who has polished maturity. Such a person knows how to tackle betrayal, heartbreaks, loss, stress and temper issues. One must be kind and empathetic enough to help the people in need. Being an aid to a sore soul is such a blissful practice that always returns to you as Karma. A successful person would never ever move around spreading hatred or jealousy; if anybody does that, he is not successful. Only people who are unhappy with themselves are mean to others. What will separate you from others who have a harsh personality is how kindly you treat people; how you respect them will be how you earn it for yourself. Never confuse ambition with being selfish; that is one of the major mistakes people of the modern generation are making without even realizing it. It is something that kills one’s humanity. Ambition is a necessary trait to possess to grow in terms of aims. Wisdom is another most essential facet of one’s nature. It is the ability to recognize and observe things as they are! Thorough understanding of situations, problems, emotions, actions, and trust are bred by wisdom. Right? Confidence is another quality that makes you stand above everyone else concerning manipulation. People who seem under-confident are more likely to be prey to bullying. We shall work upon ourselves so much that we become independent and complete in ourselves. In fact, we must invest time, energy and efforts in ourselves up to that extent where people see you as a resourceful person; trust me, that is one of the best feelings in the world. But, being resourceful also teaches you that people are mean and self-centred. They approach you only if they’ve to get to you for having something done and not because they actually value you. Here comes the role of wisdom; this doesn’t mean that you have to stop being nice to everyone. This means you have to make your boundaries clear and not let anyone violate them to manipulate or use you, no matter how close they are to you. But never ever forget the difference between ego and self-esteem! Being grounded is one of the rarest but most admirable qualities in a human.
Also, people must be loving, caring and supportive enough to give meaning to humanity and hold peace with all the relations in life. One must be analytically intelligent enough to evaluate situations, bonds, and people to keep up with life and prevent remorse or guilt. No matter what challenge life throws at you, accept it and always be motivated because no struggle is permanent. We tend to hold on to things or people that deter our mental health in overthinking and overanalyzing. Still, you have to ask yourself, ‘Does that even deserve your time and energy?’ ‘Is that even worth enough to affect your daily lifestyle or stop you from growing?’ You shall never give up. Working and manifesting oneself for betterment is something that makes you grow both emotionally and mentally. Imagine a person having all these qualities, now imagine, that could be you! So now, that is your motivation to change and start working today itself!
2.) How to change yourself?
It is unfortunate that most of the time, people recognize this fact really late that they need to change themselves. Unquestionably, when life puts you through harsh phases, you evolve much more personality-wise, but the catch is, why do you have to await such a scenario in life to learn from your experiences? Going through heartbreak or a significant failure or a considerable loss, helplessness, loneliness, insecurities, bullying, manipulation, betrayal etc. leave you crippling for a while, but you see, maturity is when you realize that you were not born to hold on to one thing that makes you sad forever; you must never let these dark experiences overpower what you could have been or could have achieved otherwise! You have a life for its own purpose and pursuits. You are not born to be sorrowful in life. These times shall make you come out stronger; meanwhile, you don’t have to be crying all the time about what has happened and why did that happen to you, no, my friend! You have to understand that overthinking is not the solution, neither is positive thinking, but right thinking is! Think of the ways you could move on, think of the ways how to not let the circumstances affect you, think of now that all this has happened; what you must do next, think of ways to come out of that quagmire that’s making you sink in, instead of thinking that why you are sinking!
Basically, it’s clear now that because how you tackled the situations earlier didn’t work out, you have to bring behavioural changes, isn’t it? So What can be a few ways? Before mentioning them, I’d say that something that matters more than willpower is effort! It might sound trivial, but it is not. Sometimes when we are low, we might not possess the willpower to change or to even try doing that and that appears as the natural tendency as well, when you put in an effort when you give it a push against the force and mood, that is something that will definitely give you satisfaction at the end of the day that at least you tried to start uplifting yourself without any help! All you have to do is gather that courage, make an effort just for once and trust me when outputs would be in favour; it will automatically and obviously build up your willpower. Coming back, a few methods to practice change could be as follows.
It is observed that keeping yourself fit and healthy brings energy, both physical and mental. It also boosts confidence about your appearance, basically your perception of yourself. When people compliment you on your physical changes, you feel that you are moving on. It also keeps you busy with something beneficial for your functionality.
- Self-help books
More often than not, self-help books are known for motivation, inspiration and a sense of self-improvement. Reading through this kind of stuff not only keeps you away from negativity but also suggests ways that can actually change the way you perceive and react to problems in your life without complicating them too much. There are plenty of such books available online. Go Google them!
For emotionally sensitive people, treatment must be considered. Some people can require support, especially if they suffered trauma. Professional help provides you with practical and psychological solutions, but that never means you are a psycho! Come on, let’s normalize it. Therapy is for everyone; break the taboo! Ever heard, “modern problems require modern solutions?” Keep up with that. Go for therapy. You have to heal for the people who love you if not for yourself.
- Learning new things
Needless to say, if a person tries to learn new things and continues to practice them as hobbies, it invokes a sense of betterment and improvement in him. This also prevents one from stopping sitting idle and replay old memories and keeps him engaged, making him feel a new spark of change in the life that was so monotonous earlier.
Come on, we all know this one! Meditating helps you align your emotions and thoughts. It enables you to concentrate on important things and allows you to spend some time with your inner soul to know yourself better.
- Practicing positive affirmations
Believe it or not, but our brain re-emphasizes the facts we often say to ourselves. Telling yourself positive things like, ‘I am stronger than this, ‘This cannot drag me down, ‘I am complete in myself, ‘I am enough to handle my issues’, ‘I am working hard for a better me, and it shall prevail forever soon’ and ‘I gave my best, let the universe see it now’ etc. can actually prove out to be a boon for your self-motivation and positivity. We all deserve happy, joyful, successful and prosperous lives, and we must try our level best to make this happen. Have faith in yourself, trust the process, trust in God, and everything shall fall into place, but all you need to do at your end is just making an effort. That is where most people give up, but promise yourself right now that you will never make this mistake. Evolve better every day and help others do this too. May you have a blissful life ahead!