I’m reminded again of how it feels to be alone. Even though I consider myself to be fairly introverted, feelings of loneliness can be quite overwhelming for me. I suspect it’s largely a biological behavior. Some kind of a feedback loop to keep me from venturing off too far from loved ones.
I had forgotten what this was like for a few months. It’s a painfully sharp feeling and quite depressing. Contact with friends and family doesn’t seem to quench it for me, it seems only a romantic interest takes it away. And not necessarily intimacy, but having such a person around in close proximity seems to make this feeling go away. More than a few hours of an absence and the feeling comes back.
It’s very strange to me. Even though I know I’m okay alone and not in peril, something in my brain tells me that things are very wrong. Perhaps it’s a loyalty gene in some indirect way.
I thought this was worth writing about in case you felt the same way. I think it can be alienating to feel this way and think no one else goes through quite the same thing. Being alone feels miserable, even though I think it shouldn’t be miserable.