Waiting at the door…

Lying in bed, I used to hear
The yapping of a dog in my ear

I used to admire you from afar
Because people use to say what if you give me a scar?

There is enough sorrow in a natural way
From men and women to fill our day

But you came into my heart one day
My dear companion
So affectionate, so smart
Made me realize I have loved you from the start.

Coming home all tired, still makes me ecstatic
Because you are there wagging at the door
After all the days that you have snored.

As is said, all good things must come to an end
I know that time would come,
When we would have to part.

You will never be forgotten,
As you have left your paw prints on my heart.

My dear companion
So affectionate, so smart
Made me realize I have loved you from the start.

Why feminism isn’t the new F-word (misconceptions)

Becoming a parent is a celebration of one’s life. But is it the case if the born child is a girl?
‘Mubarak ho, beti hui hai’ is not actually a greeting for many in the society. But a burden that is imposed on them by destiny.
A girl faces discrimination right from the time when she is in the womb, which continues throughout her life. When a mother is expecting a baby, the family prefers ‘male children’ over female. When a girl is born, she is considered to be a burden. When she is growing, she is the victim of malnutrition as the first right on the food that comes in the family is of a male child. When it comes to her education, her brother’s education is preferred over hers. When it comes to her career, she is forced to keep quiet and just marry. Now, after marriage, this ‘burden’ goes to other family, where she works selflessly and in return gets violence. This cycle of discrimination continues throughout her life and she is expected to bear this all the way.

But, with the changing world, many people have come to support women and break the shackles of this torture and inequality against women. With this develops the concept of ‘Feminism’.

In simple terms, Feminism means the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities in the society.
Feminism means telling the people that the favorite colour of girls is not pink always, that boys can also cry, that girls can also roam on roads at midnight, that girls can pick any job of her wish (then be it a job of a driver only), that girls can also be sole bread earner of the family, that girls are not any less than boys.
Feminism breaks the narrow thinking of people that women are just puppets of male chauvinism. It empowers women to achieve their goals, without any fear.
Feminism acknowledges the discrimination that women faces like income gaps, inequality, gender based violence, body shaming, and the list goes on…
Feminism has changed the society in many ways, like many countries have passed laws relating to income gaps, domestic violence. It brought the women put out of their homes to work, if they choose so. Many movements, like MeToo, have been started to empower women. It has recognized that women’s right are human rights.

This concept has gained much popularity and helped women. Yet, it is misunderstood many a times. So now, we will look at the misinterpretations relating to the concept of Feminism. First misconception is that feminism is understood as being equivalent to matriarchy. But that is not the case. Feminism works towards equality, and not female superiority against any gender.
It is also believed that only women are associated with the Feminist Movement. But, a lot of famous male personalities have come in the support of feminism.
Also, feminists are usually mistaken to be the women who are only career- oriented and do not support women who are at home. If a women works or not, that is completely her own choice and has nothing to do with feminism.
A big misconception revolving in this modernized world is that we don’t need feminism now, it was necessary in the past. But that is surely not the case.
Even during this lockdown period, we can see a steep increase in domestic violence cases. And yet, our society is not free from many social evils against women.
Wearing pink is anti- feminism, is also a misconception. Wearing any colour has nothing to do with feminism. It’s just not the case that those who wear pink are less feminist than those who wear other colors.
Other misconception is that marriage is not accepted by women. It’s not true, in fact most feminists are married, and they don’t oppose marriage, instead they oppose the violence and sexual harassment associated in that marriage, if there is any.
Feminists hate men. That’s another misconception in the society. Feminists just want equal rights in all the spheres and there is no hatred against any gender. If someone tries to demean any sex in the name of feminism, that person sure isn’t a feminist.

With these misconceptions, we can see that there are many challenges to feminism, like we need strong laws for women equality in all the spheres or more precisely, we need strong implementation of these laws. We need to create more awareness amongst people, especially in rural people, not to consider girls a burden on them. We should make them aware about the glories that girls are bringing.

Thus we can say, feminism is the need of the hour to make society women- inclusive. We can see the positive effects of feminism on society, yet there is a long way to go, to make women truly independent and equal.
As G.D. Anderson once said,
” Feminism isn’t about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It’s about changing the way the world perceives that strength.”

Wallflower

“So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me for I, too, am fluent in silence” –
R Arnold

Introvert…we sure are very well aware of this word. You can be either one of them or consider
some other people as of this category. Introversion is one of the major personality traits
identified in many theories of personality. Introverted people tend to be shy or focused more on
internal thoughts, feelings, and moods rather than seeking out external stimulation.
Psychological studies say in terms of their brain chemistry, introverts have a lower threshold of
dopamine sensitivity than extroverts (dopamine is the feel-good hormone); the lower your
dopamine threshold is, the more easily stimulated you are. Introverts have different brain
chemistry; the pathway that an introvert’s brain takes in social context differs from that of
extroverts. Introverts have a more extended pathway called the Long Acetylcholine Pathway. It’s
much longer, which means that a stimulus goes through many different parts of the brain.
Introverts notice all sorts of details, which makes them self-conscious about the mistakes they
are making. Introverts worry a lot about what’s going to happen. Basically, for an introvert, an
event is never just an event. While extroverts can immediately respond and react to what is
happening around the milieu, introverts cannot because so much goes on in their head.
A lot of us presume that introverts don’t really like spending time with other people. Introverts
often seem boring and even rude to some people, but that is not so. In fact, they can have some
of the most profound and most meaningful friendships. Some people think introverts avoid
social situations. This isn’t actually true; they just need more time to recharge after a lot of social
stimulation. It’s because they have a very low threshold for dopamine, so they are easily
overwhelmed. In contrast, extroverts have a very high threshold, so they can keep going for
longer.
Being an introvert myself, I can agree with all of this. I tend to get a little awkward at social
gatherings at first. Still, eventually, I do manage to get myself accustomed to the group.
Introverts like me do get this a lot that we are not that fun, especially for extroverted people; we
are not bold to do things, don’t make impulsive decisions, and are somewhat boring.
I always used to feel bad about it, about being so shy and introverted, not like somebody ever
said on my face that I am boring. Still, you get this feeling when you hang out with a bunch of
extroverts who are having way too much fun, are living in the moment without worrying about
the consequences. There you are, thinking when will I get home so that I could curl up in bed
and just either binge-watch stuff or be myself while listening to slow indie songs.
But now that I think about it, I realize how stupid it was of me to feel bad about being nothing but
myself. There is nothing wrong is not being impulsive, there is nothing wrong in taking your time
in getting accustomed with people in order to have fun, there is nothing wrong in thinking a little
before speaking, there is nothing wrong in being observant, there is nothing wrong in being an
introvert, there is nothing in being YOU.
Being an introvert is not a flaw. It does not matter if some people find you boring; embracing
yourself the way you are is all that matters. Because if some people don’t appreciate you the
way you are, there are still a hell lot of people who will never make you feel bad about yourself
and will appreciate you the way you are. Every step of the way.
It’s okay to be a wallflower. Some people still would appreciate you. Always.

What if…

Last night while gazing the stars 

Some thoughts crossed my mind 

Giving me a feeling of content

Making me think about the what ifs ?

What if all this time the struggle which we endure is nothing but something that is leading us to a beautiful destination in our life? 

What if everything will work out, even if it doesn’t seem like it right now?

What if who we become is who we’ve needed to be all along?

What if all of this sadness one day leads us to be our happiest selves? 

What if we replace all the pessimism with a little optimism?

What if I fall?

Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?

Would our way of looking at life, as nothing but a trap will change?

I believe so and maybe you do too.

To forgive is divine

Source : Pinterest


“When you initially forgive, it is like letting go of a hot iron. There is initial pain and the scars will show, but you can start living again.” ― Stephen Richards


We all are very well aware with the fact that forgiving someone is the greatest of all things one person can do in their life. It sets us free from the pessimism, bitterness, anger and the sadness, some traits that disrupt our physical as well as mental health and hold us back from all kind of good mighty things that we may achieve and experience.
A lot of us have worked on forgiving others, forgiving those who have actually torn us apart, made us vulnerable and sad. But we all came to terms with it by being the bigger one and forgiving the other person. But why can’t we all be a bigger person for our own selves? What about forgiving ourselves?
In today’s society suffering in silence is one of the major trademark of the adolescents. The teenagers have started engaging themselves in things like drugs. Smoking pot is the newest of all trends, with the tag that ‘we do so because it is the best stress buster’ but don’t actually believe in sharing what bothers us. When we were of the age of about 5 or 6 we all use to cry over things such as tripping or falling or at the mere sight of blood. We use to express our pain. But by the time we come to the youth age suffering in silence seems like a plausible thing to do. We start blaming ourselves for things turning out the wrong way, thinking it’s our fault. Teenagers are in an awkward phase of self discovery. Where we don’t know that whether we should act like a child or an adult. But bottling up our emotions and suffering in silence is erroneous.
Alaska Young, is one of the main character of the novel by John Greens called Looking for Alaska. Alaska has this bipolar type of personality, she is funny, charming, and mysterious in her very own way. She at times can be rude and mean but is also very smart. Pudge the narrator of this novel and a friend of Alaska one day asks her why do you smoke so fast? She replies, ‘Y’all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die’ strengthening the point that she is a teenager with issues. ‘how will I ever get out of this labyrinth’ is Alaska’s favourite last words by Simon Bolivar. For her, the labyrinth is that of the sufferings.
Alaska has been tormented since her mother died when Alaska was little. “She had fallen over. She was lying on the floor, holding her head and jerking. And I freaked out. I should have called 911, but I just started screaming and crying until she finally stopped jerking” are the wordings of Alaska. She somehow blames her own self for her mother’s tragic death. Despite having a hard past Alaska is a very happy and energetic girl or maybe that’s how she wanted others to see her. Throughout the novel there has been a lot of changes in her personality. From being a confident and strong girl to being a gloomy and depressive one her personality has been evolved. Forgetting about her mothers’ death was an unfeasible thing. She cannot stand the guilt and gradually started becoming a cold person. Later we see that, Alaska dies in the story and that’s when the mystery comes because she left everything to be continued.
Alaska always thought of life as a labyrinth of suffering, she always wanted to know what is the way out of this suffering, maybe dying was her way of getting out of this labyrinth. It is a mystery that whether her death was an accident or a suicide. But tell me, was her mother’s death in any sense her fault? Did she deserve to suffer in silence like that? I think not.
Alaska had to forgive herself for what happened to her mother and stop getting all the guilt of something that she did not do.
You see blaming ourselves for something that we did not do can hamper one’s mental health to such an extent that they think suffering in silence, being a cold person, smoking to die is a ‘just’ thing to do. But it is not.
Adolescent is the time period where we may feel pathetic, sad and empty. But to not feel so, we should always ‘Seek for the great Perhaps’. We should look for the purpose of our life in order to not feel empty. So smile, laugh, forgive and believe in self worth.
At some point we all look up and realise we are lost in a maze and it’s okay to feel so, sometimes. But remember,
“The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive”