The Fear Of Losing

Have you ever felt a fear of losing someone from your life?

Being afraid of losing someone you love is not at all an uncommon feeling. It is a feeling which most of us have felt once in our life, it may be towards our parents or friends or relationships. In life, we want everything to stay forever, but that is not possible. People come into our life by their own choice and will leave on their own too we can’t force them to stay. A few people are special to us with whom we can share anything to everything; we care for them, love them unconditionally, and right we sometimes have a fear that we’ll lose them forever.

You might have come across people who want to talk to you every day, and sometimes they want to share everything with you, from what is happening in their life to what is going to happen!! But do you wonder why they do so?

While some people overshare their life with us, we might think that they want sympathy from us, and sometimes we get frustrated and stop talking to them or start ignoring them, but that might not be the case; maybe they are emotionally attached to us. The people who get attached too soon have a fear of losing the most.

If you are friends with someone you can’t be like, oh, we’ll be friends forever, it will stay if it’s meant to be, but sometimes it might end in few years or even a relationship, might lead to marriage or might not work. You need to accept that nothing is permanent in life, and if you are going to continue this fear, you might lose the bond you share or try to stretch the relationship; it might lose its magic. Due to this fear, you might cause problems in your relationships. There might be a sense of jealousy or manipulation when the person is not responding to you on time or talking to other people, you might not like it, and then you’ll start to fight with them, which will make the situation worse off.

How to overcome this fear?

1. Just relax; it’s natural: – The fear of losing someone you love is absolutely genuine. If you have feelings for them at all, then you’re going to be upset if they were to one day walk away from you. If you accept that it’s normal, you’ll accept this feeling as well.

2. Communicate: – If you are feeling the fear of losing, you might open about this to your partner, and maybe by communicating this to your partner, he’ll be able to assure you that he’ll not leave you ever.

3. Get a journal: – If you feel that you’ll not be able to communicate this to the concerned person, you can start writing a diary. Writing down your thoughts, feelings, and fear when losing someone will help you overcome the burden.

4. Realize that you might be making things worse: – If you are worrying a lot about losing someone, you might actually be making your current situation worse or even driving them away.

We need to live in the present; let time heal everything that’ll come in our way instead of thinking of the future because if we try to focus more on the future, we’ll not be able to bond and explore our relationships, and it might lose its magic because of our future concerns.


“Don’t cry over the past, it’s gone.

Don’t stress about the future; it hasn’t arrived yet

Live in the present and make it beautiful.”

The Farmers Bill, 2020

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The three ordinances — The Farmers’ Produce Trade and Commerce (Promotion and Facilitation)Ordinance, 2020, The Farmers (Empowerment and Protection) Agreement on Price Assurance and Farm Services Ordinance, 2020 and The Essential Commodities (Amendment) Ordinance, 2020 were earlier introduced as ordinances by the Government in June.

The Rajya Sabha on 20th September 2020 passed the Farmer’s Produce Trade and Commerce (Promotion and Facilitation) Bill, 2020, Farmers (Empowerment and Protection) Agreement on Price Assurance and Farmers services Bill,2020 and the Essential Commodities (Amendment) Bill, 2020 amid the protest by the opposition MPs. The bill was passed amidst the voice vote in the Upper House. There was a lot of chaos in the Rajya Sabha as the bill was passed by a voice vote and not a division of votes, even though the Congress, Trinamool Congress and other parties made a demand to the deputy chairperson.

1. The Farmer’s Produce Trade and Commerce (Promotion and Facilitation)Act, 2020 permits intra-state and inter-state trade of farmers’ produce beyond the physical premises of the Agricultural Produce Market Committee(APMC) markets and other markets notified under the state APMC Acts.

2. The Farmers (Empowerment & Protection) Agreement of Price Assurance and Farm Services Bill: It draws a framework for contract farming agreement between farmers and buyer before sowing of a crop and for dispute settlement prescribes three-level mechanisms – the conciliation board, sub-divisional magistrate, and appellate authority.

3. The Essential Commodities Act (Amendment) Bill: It empowers the Central Government to regulate food items in extraordinary circumstances or impose stock limits if there is a steep price rise.

Even as farmers and opposition parties are protesting against the controversial farm bills, President Ram Nath Kovind on 28th September 2020, gave his assent for the three bills passed by the parliament.

What is APMC?

An Agriculture Produce Market Committee (APMC) is a marketing board established by a state government in India to ensure farmers are safeguarded from the exploitation by large retailers and lenders. This concept of agriculture produce market regulation program in India was formulated during the British period in 1965, as the farmers were exploited by moneylenders and were not given a fair price for their produce. According to this regulation the farmers are allowed to sell their agriculture produce only at the market yards(mandis) of APMC and the APMC regulates the licensing system in the mandis, but in recent years the Government has seen some flaws in the APMC system as they were given the power to provide licenses, it was difficult for some farmers to get license from the mandis which were managed by the Committee and even the buyers in the mandi used to form a cartel, which created a monopoly in the agricultural market and resulted in a loss of farmers and consumers.

So, the Government has come up with the new farmer’s bill,2020, which will allow the farmers to sell their produce beyond the physical premises of Agriculture Produce Market Committee (APMC) markets and it will create one nation, one market and will include no taxes if the farmers will sell the produce outside the APMC.

The three Farm Bills seek to: –

1. Break the monopoly of government-regulated mandis and allow farmers to sell directly to private buyers.

2. Provide a legal framework for farmers to enter into contracts with companies and produce for them.

3. Allow Agri-businesses to stock food articles and remove the Government’s ability to impose restrictions arbitrarily.


What are the benefits of the Farmers’ bill for the farmers?

1. According to the Government, the bills will transform the agriculture sector and raise the farmer’s income. It will ensure a fair price to the farmers for their produce and make them independent of the government-controlled markets.

2. It is a system in which farmers and traders can sell their produce outside the Mandis and will encourage interstate trade and will also reduce the cost of transportation.

3. The Bills will formulate a framework on agreements that enable farmers to engage with agri-business companies, exporters, and retailers for
services and sale of produce while giving the farmer access to modern technology.


Why are Indian farmers/ opposition protesting against new farm bills?

According to the opposition parties, the ordinances are “anti-farm” and even a death warrant for the farmers. The middlemen fear that they might lose their work. The regional parties and non-BJP parties are against these bills as Most of the state government’s revenue comes from these mandis, and if the Government will allow the farmers to sell their produce to the private sellers, then it would reduce their taxes. As the taxes from mandis itself ranges from 8.5% in Punjab to less than 1% in some states.

The farmers’ protests revolve around the need to protect MSPs or Minimum Support Prices which they feel are threatened by the new laws. The minimum support prices are the preset rates at which the central government purchases produce from farmers, regardless of the market rates and are declared for 23 crops at the beginning of each sowing season. The APMC was regulated by the Government and MSP is only valid in APMC while if the government imposes these laws there will be no MSP outside APMC which is a significant concern for the farmers. Even these laws will lead to agricultural corporatization, where big companies can dominate the farmers. The lack of bargaining power with big companies is also a valid concern. A farmer will have the freedom to choose where he wants to sell but may not know to negotiate the best terms with a private company. There is hardly any regulation outside the mandis and no grievance redressal mechanism yet.

So basically, the Indian Government is trying to make a distinction between Free Market VS Regulated Market and trying to develop a neoliberalism system, i.e., a modified form of liberalism tending to favor free-market equilibrium, followed in most developed countries and has failed miserably. So, the question is if the system has been such a big failure in developed countries, how can we think that this is going to work in India?

EXPECTATIONS

Expectations: a belief that something will happen as we want it to be and will last forever. Whether it’s you or me we all expect a lot from our life or even our family, friends, relationships but at the end we all get disappointed because it doesn’t turn out as we want it to be and that’s the problem with expectations. Sometimes we interchange the meaning of hope and expectations and some people even feel they mean the same but they don’t. Hope is a wish for something to happen while expectations is the assumption that something is actually going to happen. 

So, the question is why do we expect?

From our childhood we have heard from our parents about what they expect us to be and we try to fulfil their expectations and that’s how we start expecting from others, that is we expect more because we are conditioned to expect more. Like every morning, everyday we get our breakfast ready on our dining table but if one day we’ll not get our breakfast we’ll get disappointed. It is a human tendency to expect and get expectations in return. There is nothing wrong in this because we are social beings and our relationship with society is mutual but the fact is that sometimes, we over expect and that just kills us from inside. Expectations should be realistic i.e. which can be fulfilled. Realistic doesn’t mean to lower our expectations to avoid disappointment, it basically means to do what we can to make our goals realistic by fulfilling the conditions and requirements for success. What might seem unrealistic to us may be realistic for others so it just depends on our circumstances or our choices. We have emotions and feelings, that is why we tend to expect the same love and care we give to others but we have to accept the fact that all our expectations might not be fulfilled.

Managing our expectations

We expect a lot from ourselves and others but what we don’t realise is that most of our expectations are unrealistic which can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. So managing those expectations is necessary. 

Managing personal expectations

  1. Give yourself some time

We can manage our personal expectations towards our goals by giving ourselves some time to fulfill them rather than trying to achieve them instantly and making sure that we have a realistic plan to achieve them.

  1. Stop judging yourself 

We should stop criticising ourselves for failures and being disappointed when we are not able to achieve our dreams . Whether it’s success or failure it teaches us some lessons so we should keep them in mind and start working hard towards achieving our goals. 

  1. Modifying expectations with the new situation 

If we are not able to fulfill any of our personal expectations it may be due to the changes in the current situation so we should try to modify our expectations with the new scenario.

Managing expectations from others

  1. Communicate 

Managing expectations from others is not as easy as managing our personal expectations but we can always try to do so by communicating with them and telling them that what are you expecting from them so that it will make things easier. 

  1. Predict other’s expectations 

We can try to anticipate what people expect from us and either work to meet those expectations or communicate about why they should be altered.

Can expectations really affect reality?

So, let’s take a random scenario, you planned your day.

“Tomorrow will be a productive day, I’ll workout in the morning, will read some novels and books and will work on my assignments.” And the next day you woke up in a bad mood because a new construction work started in your neighbourhood and that caused a headache and you are not able to do anything you planned to do .So that’s how expectations affect reality. If we might have not planned what we’ll do the next day the situation might have been different, we might not be disappointed. Sometimes we’ll not be able to do what we wanted to do but we should not be disappointed because of that.

This is one case, let’s take another case of expectations related to our career. We expect that we’ll achieve everything in the world but if we don’t work hard to achieve those goals there is no point in imagining then. To get a perfect future we need to work for it in the present by giving our 100% and then you’ll be able to achieve everything you want to. So, expectations can turn into reality if we work hard for it and work towards it with passion and interest. 

This is one side of a coin that is expectations from life, career and the other side is expectations from people. Keeping expectations from people is not bad but you should be ready for its consequences because maybe they’ll not be able to fulfil it. You need to accept the fact that when others do not live up to your expectations, it’s perfectly fine. 

Everyone has different views on expectations. Some feel like expectations lead to anxiety, hopelessness, depression, impatience while some feel it increases your morale to work towards your goals. In my perspective lowering expectations is the key to happiness because if you don’t have expectations you would simply take things as they come and deal with them. 

“Expectations feed frustration. It is an unhealthy attachment to people, things, and outcomes we wish we could control; but don’t.” – Dr. Steve Maraboli 

Is Theoretical Knowledge enough?

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Aarush had a master’s degree in automobile engineering and worked on a high post in a reputed organization. One day, on his way to the office, his car stopped working and he got off to investigate the problem. With his high qualification and expertise in the area, he examined each part of the car carefully but couldn’t find any fault. After a while, a peasant who was passing asked him, “What’s the matter?”

 He answered, “Well, something is wrong with the car.”

The peasant replied,” Did you check the tank? Perhaps there is no petrol.”

The peasant was right.

This is what might happen when theoretical knowledge is not supported by practical knowledge.

PRACTICAL VS THEORETICAL KNOWLEDGE 

Theory teaches us the “why” factor associated with an event or situation while practical teaches us “how” to apply the concept in real life. Practical knowledge is necessary to promote experiential learning and to increase our confidence. The best part of practical knowledge is whatever we learn through the practical way this knowledge remains in our brain for a long period. 

If there is a question regarding which is a better way to learn practical or theory? There might be different opinions related to it but in my perspective a blend of theoretical and practical knowledge is a must. 

The world is progressing day by day, and we are getting more and more modernized every day which demands a lot of changes from some previous conventional techniques that were followed. Rapid changes in work life, society and information technology have increased the demands for experts in every field. Today the need for expert professionals is increasing, who are expected to have good knowledge, excellent social and communication skills and who are able to utilize their skills in a positive way in life. And this all is possible only if we acquire practical knowledge along with the theoretical stuff. 

No matter how qualified we are, practical knowledge and our personal experience teaches us a lot more than those thick books. Do you remember learning trigonometry, physics concepts, author names and all those bookish knowledge which we never used in real life? Stop following the bookish language blindly. Remember Chatur’s famous speech in 3 Idiots? The one where Rancho changes the words. Chatur is so driven to impress people that he doesn’t bother finding out the real meaning of those words before mugging them up. And well, that doesn’t exactly work in his favour. Before blindly following  books, you must find out what those words actually mean. Blindfolding yourself and ignoring the possibility of that book being wrong will never work in your favour. You might end up like Chatur after delivering that speech (he gets kicked by the dean, in case you’ve forgotten)! 

Learning is not memorizing the exact words from the book. Learning is understanding it and being able to explain it in your words. Rote learning is not important rather than applying it in real life is important. Many engineers who have all the theoretical knowledge sometimes are not able to apply it in real life. Today our education system needs a practical approach; therefore, there should be an emphasis on “hands on learning”, practical knowledge as it will give the best exposure of learning to students or those who want to learn.

“Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play”. – Immanuel Kaut.

What is wrong with the Indian Education system?

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Education is of paramount importance to an individual as well as the society. No matter which region or country we live in, education plays a fundamental role for knowledge enhancement of the individual as well as for the development of the country. But as the geographical region differs, the education system in different countries differs too.

Top countries with the best education system

  1. Finland 

Finland has the best education system in the world with no rankings, no comparisons or competition between students. They are publicly funded and run by government agencies from national officials to local authorities, are educators not business people or politicians. “Equality is the most important word in Finnish education”. They have shorter school days (190 days per year). Finland does not incorporate national standardized testing but they do evaluations for testing learning outcomes.

  1. Japan 

The main difference between Japanese education and other countries’ education system is that they emphasise on morals and ethics education. standard subjects such as Mathematics, science, music is of course taught but morals are a separate subject allocated with textbooks and time.  Competition between students to enter high schools and universities is so high that kids sometimes spend a majority of their time studying in order to get on the right track for the right school.

  1. South Korea 

Culturally, South Koreans are very invested in education. Everything from their social status to their marriage prospects to their job is determined by where they went to college. And parents are judged based on what universities their kids get into too. So, the parents and students are highly motivated when it comes to education. Teachers in South Korea are a major factor in the student’s success. They are extremely dedicated to their jobs. 

India Vs Foreign Education System 

Today our Indian education system is not included in even the top 20 countries with the best education system in the world. Do you know what India lacks in its education system?

There is a huge difference between the Indian Education System and foreign education systems. The Indian Education system focuses on theoretical knowledge rather than practical learning and they don’t allow creativity while the foreign education focuses on practical learning as practical stuff stays longer in the brain. If we ask a college graduate questions about the subjects, they have studied in 12th standard, they’ll not be able to answer all, as we pay more emphasis on theory and not practical, we emphasise on rote learning, rather if we ask the same question from a student from a foreign university they’ll be able to answer them as they build their concept on practical learning. 

Our political system is the root cause of all the problems that Indian education system faces today. The government emphasis on the policies like caste, minority and corruption issues rather than developing new policies on the basis of research, rather they follow the same policies formulated years ago. While in the foreign countries there are changes in policies on the basis of new research which improves their education system. 

Despite the continuous help offered by the government in India there are limited research funds and therefore research initiatives are less while research in foreign universities is funded by the biggest organisations of the world like Google, Microsoft and hence research initiatives are better.

In India education is just a formality to earn a degree, it is a part of a routine. We just want a degree in Engineering or Medical stream; whether we learn something or not. In foreign countries, education is taken as a learning process. 

In Germany after primary school there are choices given to students to choose from 3 different types of schools i.e. “Hauptschule’’ in which they get a degree after 9th grade so it’s the least advanced in terms of education. With that degree they can then start directly going into training for a job,      “Real Schule” – it’s a little more advanced in terms of Education and the students get their degree after 10th grade but still doesn’t enable them to go to university which means they usually also start going into training for a job, “Gymnasium” – it’s the most advanced education  in Germany and enables the students to go to university and basically do any job they wish for, if they have the required grades. They get their degree after 12th standard. So basically what German education system teaches us is that the students are given the liberty to choose their own field of interest rather here in India we take admission seeing the trends in the society , if majority of the students are rushing towards Engineering we’ll do the same , in short we go with the flow. But that should not be the case the students should be given full liberty to choose whichever stream they are interested in. 

In Dubai; primary and secondary education is free and it is made compulsory in law. Whereas in India education is becoming a business. Taking from privatization of education to tuitions and coaching institute; education is generating good money. So, business minds are now moving towards education. According to THE HINDU report around 1.5 lakh students, many from remote and small towns, live and study at around 100 private coaching institutes in Kota. This shows the rage of coaching institutes in India.

Indian government initiative for a new education system 

 The Indian government after 34 years has come up with a new education policy,2020 which focuses on overall development of the students by providing them opportunity to choose any subject not a particular stream and even vocational training will be provided to students from class 6th.The main objective of this new educational policy is the universalization of education and achieving global standards of education. The education policies have taken different points from different education systems around the world. Nothing is implemented till now but if it is implemented in its true vision, the new structure will bring India at par with the leading countries of the world. 

No system is perfect anywhere in the world, one can only strive harder to make it better. However, positive changes are happening in the world at a much faster pace than in India. We are still at the basics stage where infra structure itself is not up to the mark.